UPCOMING! Legendary Pink Dots at Petit Campus | Wednesday September 25th
Looking at the names bands
give themselves is always a damn fun time. Certain bands choose to announce a
little bit about themselves through their name (NOFX, Outkast, We Are Wolves), others
go for that somewhat poetic label (Arcade Fire, The Comedy, The Lovely
Feathers), while others opt for soberness (Cake, the XX, the Beards). Some, regardless
of how good the music they make is, call themselves stupid things (Vampire Weekend, Cancer Bats). My favourites are the ones who choose tongue-in-cheekness to brand
themselves. Take the Legendary Pink Dots, for instance. Just by laying eyes on
those three words, you can kind of figure out that these guys must be fun to
hang out with. “Their name is funny, but it does not mean they are,” you might
think.
Well, think again.
That 33-year-old experimental
rock band formed in London and based in Amsterdam fits its gleeful name just
fine. Allow to demonstrate just how much by using their very own official bio
as an argument:
We, the Legendary Pink
Dots feel it is our duty to inform an unwary public that the new number of the
Beast is 834. In fact we, the Legendary Pink Dots were instrumental in this
turn of events. Let us explain...
The change occurred on a
rainy morning in August when the Legendary Pink Dots, Lisa and friends of the
Prozhtet Militat were holding a party to celebrate the completion of AsYlum - a
cage into which they could retreat from worldly matters.
Naturally, the party
finished with the traditional burning of Oogchuu, the fire baby. (We must point
out that the burning of Oogchuu is not an act of cruelty. Oogchuu's purpose in
the order of things is to be burned, and he never protests when Poison
Barbarella strikes the first match.)
However, things did not go
as planned. Oogchuu sneezed at an inappropriate moment... the resulting ball of
fire incinerated the curtains. The Legendary Pink Dots, Lisa, and the friends
of the Prozhtet Militat found themselves in the midst of an inferno!
Happily the quick-thinking
Silver Man had the foresight to dial 999 before the telephone melted. But it
was not the fire brigade who appeared at our flaming portal seconds later. It
was the Beast... standing on his head! Angry! Cursing!
We tried to reason with
Him, but it was useless. The terrible one was hell-bent on revenge.
With one sweep of his left
hand, the Beast turned the world upside down. Only we, the Legendary Pink Dots,
Lisa and the friends of the Prozhtet Militat stayed rooted to the spot as our
fellow mortals flew off the earth as if it was an upturned jug.
Then Stret Majest Alarme
had a brilliant idea.
"Hey Terrible
One", he volunteered, "Why don't you choose a number more in keeping
with your dark and terrible methods? After all, 666 reminds me of three little
ducks swimming across a pond..."
The Beast was scowling.
"Ducks?!" He scowled, but Stret bravely continued. "How about
888? Twist that on it's side and you have infinity - multiplied by three!
Yowza!"
A perverse smile spread
across the Terrible One's face. He liked the idea.
"I like the
idea," he cackled, "but it does not let you off the hook... how can I
devise a fitting eternal punishment for you who caused me all this
inconvenience?"
It was Patrick Paganini Q.
who reluctantly provided the answer. "We shall make our music for you
alone, Terrible One. We shall create... an Infinity Waltz!"
And so it goes. The number
is 8, the time is 3/4. Endlessly. 8-3-4, 8-3-4, 8-3-4. Endlessly.
Will you spare a tear for
us as we bid you farewell?
Convinced? If you wish to see these strange
veterans in action, Petit Campus is the place to be on September 25th.
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